Funny Voicemail Greetings and Messages For Answering Machine Greetings

If you’re looking for funny voicemail greetings to leave for callers on your cell phone or answering machine (if you’re a dinosaur who still has a landline), then here are some of the best examples to try. We had a contest to find the most hilarious voicemail messages to make us laugh and thought you might want to try a couple out yourself. Brought to you by Best Answering Service.

Enjoy the short voice mail greetings that are sure to be funny. Use this at your own risk!

Examples of the Funniest Voicemail Messages Listed Here:

Hello. This is a magic voicemail message. Only people I don’t want to talk to can hear it. Abracadabra.  Leave a message.


This is the operator, what number were you trying to dial?


Hello. Hello. If you’re there I can’t hear you. Just kidding. Leave a message at the beep.


Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now. Leave a message at the beep. (yell to wife in background) Honey, where did you put the beep? I can’t find it. Oh, here it is. Sorry, here’s the beep. (beep).


Hi, thanks for calling. If you’d like to speak with Mike press 1 now (pause), and if you actually fell for that, press the 2 button now. And if you fell for it twice, leave a message and I’ll have Santa Clause call you back.


Hi, it’s Bob. If you need to reach me right away call my personal line at 555-157 (purposefully leave off one number), that’s 555-157. Thanks


Sorry, I saw the caller ID and knew it was you. Leave a message.


Hello, you’ve reached Bills nude monkey dancers with painted toenails, how can I help you today?


Sorry I can’t get to the phone right now, please leave your name and credit card number at the beep.


Hi, I am available to answer the phone right now, but I take the calls in order of importance. Your hold time is approximately 4 days, 6 hours, and 13 minutes. You may hold or leave a message at the beep.


Do you know of a funnier voice message? Leave it in the comments below!

Author: Michael C

Michael has over 30 years of executive call center and answering service experience. He is a successful business owner and lead generation expert and shares tips to help other entrepreneurs build and grow their business through leads generation and lead capture solutions. His mission is to share carefully guarded marketing tips that will help small-medium business compete on a smaller budget.

Leave a Reply